Memories of Ben


Arthur Edward Benjamin Lightbody
31/01/1960 - 03/12/2021


My first memory of Ben was, as a small boy, being taken around the back of Freedom Fields Hospital (which was then the main hospital in Plymouth) between the oil tanks and the wall in order to be held up to look through a window to see baby Ben on the other side.


Ben weighed in at a notably small 3 lb and 12 oz. Ben was I understand born six weeks prematurely and only survived because the care of premature babies had only very recently been improved to provide sufficient life support after birth and he was one of the first children to benefit from the new Premature Baby Unit at the hospital.


Ben was christened Arthur Lightbody in the hospital when it was not clear whether or not he would survive. Arthur was Dad’s father. Several months later his christening was confirmed by the Reverend White at Linkinhorne when he was given the additional Christian names of Edward Benjamin. Edward was Dad’s father’s second name and Benjamin was I think Mum’s idea perhaps inspired by Benjamin Bunny in the Beatrix Potter story. He was always known by us all as simply Ben.


Our family moved from Hampshire to Henwood in East Cornwall in the summer of 1959 buying a small cottage with a bay hedge which was renamed Bayleaves. I can remember Ben as a baby lying on the white rug in the front room floor at Bayleaves and noting that he was smaller than my teddy bear who lay alongside him. I still have Big Ted so I have a clear idea of how just how small he was at that time.


Simon Ben and I were very fortunate to have an idyllic childhood at Bayleaves because we had the run of Mr Coombe’s farm fields to play in on both sides of the road running from Henwood down to Darley Ford. The three of us made camps, built explosives out of match-heads, went on expeditions and became three strong healthy boys with lots of outdoor play in the fields and then up onto Notter Tor, Sharp Tor and Stowe’s Hill and the Cheesewring and, as we became older, beyond into Withybrook Marsh. 


As the youngest Ben was sometimes the butt of his older brother’s games. I remember telling Ben that the wicked witch would be coming down the road at 4 o’clock and shortly before 4pm  Simon & I marooned Ben on top of the hedge from where he couldn’t get down without our help. Ben said more recently how clearly he remembered this trauma. Kids can be cruel but we all loved each and looked after each other.


The big surprise in our young lives was to discover that Simon Ben & I had an older brother & sister! Jeremy & Sally were the result of Dad’s first marriage to Peggy Evans in South Wales during the Second World War. We were so lucky that these two strands of our family were able to fuse and it became an important part of our lives.


A special treat for us three boys was to be taken to the north coast of Cornwall to Daymer Bay for the day. We used to love playing there on the sandhills, the wide flat beach and in the sea. Many years later we spent an idyllic day there with Mum Bogusia Ben Susie Evie and Romilly - blessed with beautiful Cornish sunshine. This left us with very happy memories of that time together - walking across the grass to the church and Sir John Betjamin’s grave - someone else who loved Daymer Bay.


In those days our parents - who were very well travelled - didn’t worry about us getting into trouble or having problems. We were allowed to disappear for the day and enjoy ourselves. If we fell down and hurt ourselves and cried Mum just checked that nothing was broken and then kissed it better and told us we would be okay. My impression is that growing up in the countryside in Cornwall in the early 60s was a very different experience to that enjoyed by children today.


While Ben had been the younger brother doing things mainly with Simon and I in the early years - as he grew older he forged a very strong friendship with Rob Emmett who lived with his family at Sibleyback Lake, where his father Lawrence Emmett was the reservoir keeper and where we learnt to sail.


Ben used to like going to the club but wasn’t so keen on the sailing. He preferred to spend his time exploring the moors, where he struck up a friendship with Rob who had similar interests. Rob & Ben became lifelong friends. 


Another happy event to result from our connection with Sibleyback was that our sister Sally, whilst visiting us in Callington, was introduced to the very handsome Shaun Horner, the eldest son of Quintus & Diana Horner from Rilla Mill. Quintus as a former publican ran the club bar at Sibleyback. One thing lead to another and Sally & Shaun married - and set up their first home in Saltash - so putting down roots together in Cornwall. In time they built a family with Samantha, Victoria & Jonathon. Sally has always remained in Cornwall which greatly benefitted Ben who always appreciated his older sister being on hand for advice and support when required - especially when his brothers were far away.


Ben spent several years at school in Tavistock at Drake’s Mead where he became a fine swimmer. My standout memory in those days was hearing about how Ben had rescued one of his friends swimming across Bodinnick Ferry at Fowey late one night. It’s entirely another question why they found the need to make such a swim at that hour of the night!


Mum and Dad encouraged Ben to study at Plymouth School of Art where he graduated with qualifications in jewelry and bookbinding and then started work for a jewellers in Plymouth, where he remained for over 20 years.


His most memorable achievement during that period, besides becoming a highly skilled Goldsmith, was when the city of Plymouth gave a specially made brooch to the H.M. The Queen to celebrate the anniversary of the departure of the Mayflower. The piece was designed by Ben’s employer but was made by Ben.


After Simon settled in New Zealand Ben spent some time there but eventually returned to Cornwall preferring to remain in Callington for the rest of his life.


There Ben met and married Susie and together they created a family in Callington so that Ben is now survived by Susie and his two daughters Evie and Romilly.


Ben is very fondly remembered by all our extended family and friends both here and in Poland as the life and soul of the party after they all spent a few days together during our wedding in Sussex in 2006.  Perhaps in that respect Ben took on Dad’s role in the family because that was an activity in which Dad alwys excelled.


In Mum’s later years Ben and his family joined her in Saltash Road and this enabled Mum to remain in her own home for the rest of her life.


It feels hard to take now that I will no longer receive those regular phone calls from Ben when he was out dog walking - I will very sadly miss my brother - may he rest in peace.


Nick Lightbody
8th December 2021